Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Free set of rusty screwdrivers if you order now.

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xenzag

a.k.a. The Ulcer-Fry

xenzag@hotmail.com

what is the sound of one cow clapping?

[Sep 18 2005, last modified Nov 27 2007]

    
(+11, -4) !00 Watt Heads
(+10, -3) 1, 2, boil up my stew
(+11, -4) 1.5 legged trouser lamp
(+35, -2)(+35, -2)(+35, -2) 10 Sparrows That Live In The Moon
(+12, -1)(+12, -1) 12 Tree-matics Avenue
(+12, -4) 23.976 fps Glasses
(+10, -2) £5Yo-Yo-Blair Coins
(+4, -2) 765,000 volt nests
(+28, -3)(+28, -3)(+28, -3) 9 Months Later Balloon Baby
(+18, -2)(+18, -2) A Bigger Scream
(+6, -2) A Cursory Glance
(+6) A Dinner Date With Dracula
(+8) A Flock of Keys
(+6, -2) A Large Black Foot in the Sky
(+8, -2) A License to Calculate
 A Pocket Lights Now
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) A Small Naked Man Persuing A Large Pigeon
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) A Small Threaded Hole
(+6, -3) A Yard of Tea
(+7, -2) Abbey Road Tread-mill
 Abdomillumen
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Aerial of Thorns
(+18, -3)(+18, -3) Aerialodactyl
(+15, -2)(+15, -2) Alimentary my Dear Watson
(+10)(+10) Anatomical Drinking Straw
 Angle of the North
(+11)(+11) Anglepoise Street Lamp
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Ant Farm Bannisters
(+12, -3)(+12, -3) Anti-Christ Chess
(+12, -1)(+12, -1) Aqua Morte
(+8, -10) Attack furniture on Patrol
(+8, -2) Autoquarium
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) Avenue of Dead Cars up in The Trees
(+5, -1) B52 Ranch
(+3, -5) bacon rind wire
(+4, -1) Baker's Gym of Hunger
(+9, -1) Barbarella Massage Bench
(+8, -1) bard-wire fence
(+2, -1) Beard Transplant Registry
(+5, -2) beardaclava
(+8) bed'n'breakfast
(+7, -5) Bed of Finger-Nails
(+7) behave beehive hairdo
(+9, -1) Bird Hats
(+12, -2)(+12, -2) Birds Who Get to Eat Cats
(+5) Black Jacket Illumination
(+45, -3)(+45, -3)(+45, -3) Blank-bank-note sketchbook
(+11)(+11) Bleeding Bicycle Lock (Wasp Attracting)
(+5, -3) Blego
(+12)(+12) Bling-Box
(+7, -4) Blinkini
(+6, -1) Blobbie Dazzlers
(+13, -1)(+13, -1) Boldly go where no Hadron has gone before
(+18, -2)(+18, -2) Book of the Secreted Image
(+5) Book Tongue
(+12, -7) born again swimmingly
(+7, -4) Brasilicas
(+4, -7) Breakfast Hose
(+2, -1) Brick-nic Hamper
(+4, -2) Bricks of Pi
(+14)(+14) Bristle Matrix Doormat
(+5, -1) Build-a-Boulder
(+4, -1) Build-a-Jaw
(+9, -1) Buttonright
(+5) Calder, Serra, Saffir-Simpson Wind Chimes
(+5) Car-glass
 Car-Kebab Ranch
(+13, -1)(+13, -1) car-locko-dile
 Car Toothpaste
(+9, -3) carsequencer
(+5) Cat-Case
(+6, -3) CD With a Single Hair
(+2) Cello-tape Dispenser With a Beak
(+5, -2) Chainosaurus Rex
(+5, -1) Chakra 6 Wake up! Bindi Door Knocker
(+4, -1) Cheroot of Turin
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Chimney Smoke Art Work
(+4, -2) Christmas Robin Attracting Beret
(+12)(+12) Chubbrella
(+9, -3) Church of Random
(+4, -1) Climb Down With a Clean Pair of Hands
(+17, -1)(+17, -1) Climbing Up The Walls of Everything
(+5, -1) Cling On Bouldervator
(+7, -1) Clock a Dildo-do
(+14, -1)(+14, -1) cogs of the realm
(+10)(+10) Collector Man
(+14, -2)(+14, -2) Combat Frills
(+7, -2) Compass Pyjamas
(+3, -1) Computer Starting Handle
(+13, -3)(+13, -3) Could You Resist The Hands of The Boston Strangler?
(+8, -3) Cowboy Wishbones
(+3) Croagh Patrick Pilgrimage Stair Carpet
(+22)(+22) Crutches With A Beach Setting
(+9, -1) Dada Nests
(+17, -1)(+17, -1) Daffodish
(+19, -3)(+19, -3) Dante's 15º Inverse Purgatory Shopping Haj
(+4, -3) De-Fustered Golf
(+4) De Selby's Cubes
(+8, -2) De Selby's Domino Theory Apparatus
(+11)(+11) De Selby's Perpetual Jig-Saw-Jig-Saw
(+19, -1)(+19, -1) De Selby's Vanishing Chain
(+24, -6)(+24, -6) De-synchronised, Chromium Plated, Bobbing Meerkats, Zen Lake of Dark Viscosity
(+9, -2) Deep Pile Distressed Durango
(+6, -2) dentallations
(+4, -1) Desert Bonsai
(+6, -1) Digi-bell
(+8) Dino-snore of Darkness
(+6, -3) Dirt Fortified Infant Food
(+5) Disharmonious Forks
(+17, -11) Disloyalty Cards
(+8) DKNYoke
(+4, -1) Dog-gone Trousers
(+4, -2) dog motor
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Dog's Beaded Curtain
(+11, -4) Dogs That Eat Banks
(+7, -2) Domestic Electricity Confusing Randomiser
(+8, -1) Donald Trump Bluebottle Factory Head
(+3, -1) Donald Trump Sand Dune
(+9, -1) Door Teeth
(+14, -1)(+14, -1) Double Breasted Accordion Waistcoat
(+8, -1) Drag and Drop Soap TV
(+5, -1) Drinks Bandolier
(+9)(+9) Drinks Beetler
(+4, -2) Drunk Flap
(+6, -3) Dullsville Calibration System
(+7, -2) Duo-Can
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Duvet Snooker
(+9, -3) Ear Crisps
 Earverts
(+4, -1) Eating With Long Tapering Bony Fingers
(+17, -1)(+17, -1) Ecumenical Swiss Army Knife
(+1, -2) Eggs-a-sketch
(+3, -1) Eggs Over Easyrider
(+11)(+11) Ego-ccino
(+6) egorrery
(+6, -1) Elastic Unlimited
(+7) Elbowgluteus Minimus
(+4, -2) Electromagnetic Wall Ironing
(+15, -3)(+15, -3) Enter The Room Full of Dead Chairs
(+1, -4) Euro Food Surplus Triathlon
 Every Dog Has Its Duplex
(+3) Every Dog Has Its Warble
(+5, -1) Eye-Seat
(+6) Eye Tea Bags
(+4, -3) Face to Facecloth
(+3, -1) Famous Buildings Termite Mounds
(+6, -1) Famous Exact Inches
(+10, -8) Famous Last Rivets
(+5, -2) Fhoam! Calls
(+6, -3) Fiddler Crab Coat Sleeves
(+8) Fidgeting Style-ettos
(+35, -3)(+35, -3)(+35, -3) Field of Almost Identical Swaying Boulders
(+4, -1) Filing Cabinet Balconies
(+10, -2) Filing Cabinet Of Terror
(+10, -2) finger flash
(+5) Fingerfork
(+7, -1) fingerphones
(+13, -5) Fishy Fish Nets
(+8, -1) Fix Umbrayonets !
(+13, -1)(+13, -1) Floor Sanding Party Over Soles
(+19, -4)(+19, -4) Four Poster Sofa
(+8, -2) Freeze Framous
(+9, -1) fridge belly
(+2) Frolic-Blankets
(+4) From CD to 3D
(+23, -4)(+23, -4) Frozen to The Back Teeth
(+8, -2) Funicular Spoon
(+6) Genius Wheels
(+18, -7)(+18, -7) Gently moving river which contains the antithesis of its own crossing
(+11, -3) Geranium Shepherd
(+8) Glue-Pit-Wrestling
(+15, -1)(+15, -1) Goat Edible Moped Humvee
(+15)(+15) Google Earth Money
(+54, -2)(+54, -2)(+54, -2) Grates of Hell
(+4, -1) Grow Hose
 Guantanamo Bay Nursery Play Pen
(+4, -3) Guardian Angel Pole Dancers
(+2, -1) gym-face-ium
(+10, -2) Gym of Sighs, Groans and Roaring
(+4) Hairgienist
 Hairhenge
(+8, -1) Hairy Lego
(+5) Half-Dead
(+6, -1) Hamster's Wheel of Fortune
(+20, -3)(+20, -3) Hand Written Novel
(+4, -1) Happy Reaper
(+8, -4) Harmless Slapper Zapper
(+10, -4) Harmonious Level Drill
(+6, -1) Harold Lloyd Alarming Clock
(+31, -2)(+31, -2)(+31, -2) Hat of Mist
(+11)(+11) Have Vox AC30, Will Travel
 Head over Heels
(+16)(+16) Hexagonal Bottle Tops
(+11, -4) Hey - that's me
(+48, -7)(+48, -7)(+48, -7) Hide Behind Your Tiny Hands
(+20, -1)(+20, -1) Hideous Pecking Bird
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) Higgs Outcome Roulette Wheel
(+4) High Rise Tents Park
(+4) Hornbrella
(+29, -1)(+29, -1)(+29, -1) House of Fish
(+6, -2) Hunky Chunky Freeway Lane
(+7, -3) Hunter-rug
(+3, -1) Hurricane Reporter Wind Sock
(+5, -2) i-browse
(+6, -4) Icon Hunter Agency
(+4, -2) Imperial Thongs
(+11, -3) In a Silent Way, Under a Willow That Weeps
(+15, -2)(+15, -2) In Space No One Can Hear You Playing Chopin
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) In The Navy, Ironing Board
(+2) indominable snowman
(+6) Infini-tie
(+4, -1) Inner-Tubular Bells
(+3, -2) Insect-Vogue
(+7, -1) International Dock-Yard Dominoes
(+10, -2) iPPLAUD
(+4, -3) Jaccuzzi Coral Reef
(+29, -10)(+29, -10) Jason and The Arguenots
(+4, -2) Jeremy Clarkson Custard Gladiators
(+20, -2)(+20, -2) Kafka's Table Top of Pusillanimous Rejection
(+6, -3) Kaligraphic Printer
(+5, -3) "Kiss Me Deadly" Lap Top
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Kneeboxes
(+5, -1) Kneejerk Piano
(+7) Knit-wits
(+4) Lap-top Laptop
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Large Musical Cacophony Umbrella Array
(+17, -2)(+17, -2) Laundry Channel
(+5, -3) Lava Lamp Mermaid
(+11, -2)(+11, -2) Lawnaconda
(+8, -3) Leaning Tower of Ketchup
(+7, -5) Leg-Barrow
(+18, -2)(+18, -2) Lego-go Shoes
(+4, -2) Lego-saurus
(+18, -6)(+18, -6) Legotanic
(+5, -3) Let Lemurs Build Your House
(+7, -1) Lift/Stairs punishment/reward scheme
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Light Zeppelin
(+10, -2) Like-a-Card?
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Lino-teeth
(+2, -1) Lipo-Buttons
(+6) Lips That Stick
(+6, -2) Litter-Snappers
(+1, -2) Living Lounge Refinery
(+8, -1) Loaded Pogo Stick
(+9, -1) Logical Wigs of Tea
(+1, -2) Londonatomy
(+21, -7)(+21, -7) Long-life Reflecting Moon Sheep
(+11, -2)(+11, -2) Long Tapering Drawer of Natural Size Selection
(+4, -1) Lunar Sofas
(+20, -2)(+20, -2) Lung Book
(+14, -5)(+14, -5) Möbius's Trip Award
(+7) Macho Mouse
(+2, -1) Macro-Mortia
(+3) Macropolitan Line
(+7) mahogany 137
 Make-car-nage
(+5) Man-Ray-Bans
(+28, -2)(+28, -2)(+28, -2) Matrix Effect Photo Booth
 MBT Resting Parks
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) McTartan's Chav Attracting Lake
(+8, -3) Me And My Chicken
(+9, -1) Meandering Ties
(+6, -2) Mile High, Slo-Mo Dive
(+4) millipede landrowing
(+5, -2) Morris Minotaur Labyrinth
(+21, -3)(+21, -3) Morticulture Services Inc.
(+2) Mosaic Mount Rushmore
 Murmurs of Humanity at the Cardiac Jukebox
(+27, -4)(+27, -4)(+27, -4) Museum of Dubious Lyrical Apparatus
 Mutual Mugs
(+13, -3)(+13, -3) Mystery Train
(+2, -1) nailtraits
(+7, -2) Neanderthrill Picnic Set
(+11, -2)(+11, -2) Night Noise Shoes
(+19, -3)(+19, -3) Non-essential Blob Of Speculative Form and Function
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Norton Commando Variation Zimmer
(+9, -2) Nose Guttering
(+15, -1)(+15, -1) Nosey Parters
(+10, -3) Nostrilampus
(+22, -2)(+22, -2) Not IQ, FlyQ
(+8, -1) Nutcracker Laptop
(+6, -3) Office Mules
(+6, -1) Old Head, New Shiny Shaft
(+3, -2) Olympic Bird Baths
(+16, -4)(+16, -4) One Used Tube Deserves Another
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Op Art Venetian Blinds
(+4) Oppenheim's Nikonic Sidebangs
(+6, -1) Ouch Bumpers
(+6, -1) Outside Non-Pockets
(+5, -1) Paddle Your Own Canu-boat
(+5, -1) Palisade Piano
(+6) Parallelogram Parking Wardrobe
(+5, -2) Pavement Chewing Gum Psychology
(+4, -2) pavement piano
(+2, -3) Pecking Order Sofa
(+7, -3) Pedestrian Dashboard
(+3, -1) Pedestrian Tow-Ball
(+10, -3) Pedigree Basalt
(+10, -2) Pet Food Urbane
(+6) Phone Awning
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Piano Forké
(+14)(+14) Pillow-Bash-Boing
(+3, -1) Pillow-talker
(+5, -1) Pinocchioknows
(+7, -2) Pixel-dozer
(+18, -1)(+18, -1) Place of Broken Hearts
(+8, -5) Planet You
(+7, -2) Pogo-roo
(+9, -1) Polo-nut
(+3, -1) Polo-Pad
(+8, -3) Precocious Barbie Wire
(+7, -4) Public Knife Block
(+6, -1) Pullover of Secrets
(+10, -3) Pulsating, hydro/pneumatic Pollocks
(+6, -2) Puny-versity
(+15, -4)(+15, -4) Put Yourself Up On A Pedestal
 Quality Streak Chocolates
(+15, -7) QWERTY-VILLE
(+6, -1) Radiator of Aran
(+13, -1)(+13, -1) Rapid Handrail
(+3) Rat-Trap Front Door
(+19, -3)(+19, -3) Rest In Print
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Rest on Your Laurels
(+5, -3) Reverse Tazer Whale
(+4) Richard Serra's Handball Court
(+4, -2) Rings of Perpetuity
(-1) Ripper-Dance
(+11)(+11) robinhoodie
(+8) Rub Out The Lines
(+3) Rubber Head Sink Plugs
(+11, -3) Ruminant Dyson
(+53, -10)(+53, -10)(+53, -10) Running Man / Following Man
 Sandal Camp
(+5, -2) Saws First & Asks Questions Later
 Schrödinger's Straw Apparatus
(+23, -1)(+23, -1) Scumopoly
(+7) Sea-Beds
(+11, -2)(+11, -2) Secrets of Area 51 Confetti
(+5, -1) send-a-smell
(+5, -1) Shanks Anvil
(+12, -1)(+12, -1) Sheep in Sheep's Clothing
(+6, -1) Sheep Tone Phone
(+36, -4)(+36, -4)(+36, -4) Sherman's Hermits
(+8, -1) Shimy-Shake Box Junction
(+7, -2) Ship-Shape-Shopping
(+18, -3)(+18, -3) Shop Windows of Unpredictable, Reciprocated Duality
(+13, -2)(+13, -2) Shoutcase
(+11, -1)(+11, -1) Shrinking Ray of Interrogation
(+25, -1)(+25, -1)(+25, -1) siamese sleeve of seduction
(+2) Side Lobes
 skatecasting
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Skipping Rope Orchestra
(+3, -2) slightly pre-crushed cans
(+4, -3) Smart Arse
(+10, -2) Snail Koans
(+1) Snow Leopard Crossings
 Soap Screen
(+9, -1) Sofa Crumb Tray
(+2, -1) Sofa-so-spa
(+4, -2) sofa transplant registry
(+12, -1)(+12, -1) Soft-Shoe Shuffle on a Hot Plate
(+10, -3) Spaghetti-Knits
(+6, -4) Speed Bunnies
(+7, -5) Speleological Corridor of Fat
(+8, -2) Spelling Bees
(+10, -2) Spend a Penny to Crush a Car
(+3, -1) Spooky Desk-Hand
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) Spring Loaded Lego
(+5, -2) Squirm-art
(+10, -4) SS Ben Hurry
(+8, -1) Star Trek Microwave
(+7, -2) Starling Engine Idea
(+6, -1) Startling High Voltage Reindeer Head Wall Light
(+6, -2) Stiletto-matics
(+18, -3)(+18, -3) Stochastic Dog Fountain
(+9, -1) Strap on Snooker Chin Wheel
(+7, -2) Sun Ra's Rings of Saturn Hat
(+6, -1) Superior Articular Moving Hand Rail
(+5) Supermarket Maze
(+20, -6)(+20, -6) Surprise, Surprise, Tissue Box
(+5) Surreptitious Street Combers
(+18, -3)(+18, -3) Sushi Library
(+25, -2)(+25, -2)(+25, -2) Swamp Mist Snooker
(+9, -2) Sweeney Todd Windscreen Wipers
(+16, -2)(+16, -2) Swimming with Televisions
(+9, -2) Swiss Cheese Tie
(+13, -5) Synchronised Drowning
(+6, -1) Synchronised Swimming Wearing Frocks
(+7, -2) Tall Buildings With Furry Corners
(+8, -2) Tandem-Shoes
(+11, -3) Tanks of Shame
(+24, -2)(+24, -2) Taxi-pedia
(+1, -3) Teeth of Wisdom
(+14, -3)(+14, -3) Telescopic Sink Plug Hole
(+9, -4) That's A Real Grey Area
(+7, -2) The Bird Men of Alka-Selzer
(+3, -1) The Boson's Curler
(+11)(+11) The Buddha of Ultimate Concentration