Doomed Armada Cereal

Captain Diego Sanchez wet his thumb and decided that today would be a calm day on the western Mediterranean. But then, the waters turned white and thick and his ships began to sink by some kind of absorption. The once-proud ships now listing every which way looked helpless, as though god could drive a spoon through the merciless clouds, lift up a half-sodden ship, and eat it whole, crunching the dry parts.

The cereal would be little ships made of corn with a block of sugar and denser corn material at the keel so that the ships would tend to remain upright. Some parts of the ship would be indiscriminately waxed with some slightly-waterproof edible coating, such that only some portions of a given ship would take on milk. That way, the ship would begin to list or tilt, so that every bite has some wet parts and some crunchy parts until the little ships finish sinking.

The regular cereal has 18th century ships, but you can buy US destroyers and aircraft carriers in specially marked boxes. A box of submarines can be ordered online-- these sink immediately, but remain dry and crunchy on the inside. Oil tankers can also be ordered online. When placed in milk, they will leak a chocolate stain from a central holding chamber that employs a kind of edible gel-capsule liquid retention technology. You can't buy the liquid natural gas tankers because those might explode.