h a l f b a k e r yTempus fudge-it.
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Coughee
Hawk it up, spit it in a cup and serve. | |
<Cue earnest-looking twat in white lab coat>
One of the problems of living in large communities as we do is that diseases can circulate forever, randomly infecting one victim after another without ever reaching a dead end in the population.
Here at BubbaCo Labs we're doing our bit for humanity...
taking sputum samples from the limp, the lame, the ill and insane and turning them into vaccinations that will either give you the disease or vaccinate you against it. We don't make any guarantees, either way.
Just a couple of large gel capsules and we can give you all manner of respiratory diseases and other ailments, from psittacosis to mononucleosis, from streptococcus to halitosis.
Never fear getting some "dog's disease" again... you already have it.
Ask your doctor if Coughee is right for you.
<Cut to BubbaCo Labs logo, play jingle>
[link]
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<pries open croissant and spits loogie into it> |
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This is basically how vaccines are made, with a little "attenuation" (weakening) of the original pathogen. Though, in some cases, it's a little more sophisticated these days with synthetic vaccines. |
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I sent those suppositories back and told them where they could shove them. |
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Yuck [-] . I read this right after lunch. |
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Or, for an easier way to get low-dose exposure to all respiratory diseases currently endemic in the population - just commute on public transport. |
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Or go into teaching and have a class of little sproggs coughing and hacking over you |
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Similar to the effect of eating boogers (your own). According to reports i've read anyway... <tries to hide behind someone> |
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Reminds me of a bit from the late great George Carlin, exercise your immune system like any other part of your body. (+) |
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PS Can I get one without SARS and drug-resistant TB? |
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//Ask your doctor if Coughee is right for you.// |
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hmmm... frequent emphatic 'no's might be a bit offputting |
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On the other hand, morticians would reccommend it very highly .... |
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Incidentally, i'm most gratified that the word "twat" is common to both the English and Australian dialects of English. |
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But does it have the same connotations, namely:
a)Stupid person
b)Clout or strike
c) ahem. |
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It's also been a colloquialism for a gravid female goldfish for some time but has not yet made it into "proper" usage. |
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Then chew and pretend it's an oyster. |
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I don't usually have oysters with my coffee. |
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[UB], as in "twaite shad"? |
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I'm unsure whether "twat" came from the Twait Shad or not. They're threatened in some areas, aren't they? |
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There seems to be no definitive etymology of twat as a fish, gold or otherwise. Still trying to find where it came from. Perhaps from twit? Twit was certainly the more common usage when I was a kid. |
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Don't have oysters with your coffee? What sort of man are you, [Spacecoyote]? |
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